Self Confidence – part 1 of 3

Confidence is a tool you can use in your everyday life.
It’s something you need to be able to achieve all kinds of cool stuff, not least to stop second-guessing yourself, manage your fears and become able to do more of the things that really matter to you.

But not many people realise that their self-confidence works just like a muscle – it grows in response to the level of performance required of it. Either you use it or you lose it. 

That’s why I’ve shared with you below… ‘em’ just a few ways to grow your confidence so that you can become a giant.

1. Learning is a Good Thing, so sign up for that webinar, evening or weekend class and enjoy it.

2. Get out of your own head by asking your family, partner, colleague or best friend what you can do for them today.

3. Hit the gym. The physiological effects will leave you feeling great.

4. Go to a networking event and focus on how you can be helpful to other people rather than being nervous about your own stuff.

5. Get crystal clear on the things that truly matter to you. If they’re not in your life, you need to bring them in.

6. Write a list of the things you’re putting up with in your life, then write down how you can remove, minimise or diminish each one.

7. Look at a great win or success you’ve experienced and give yourself credit for your part in it. Recognising your achievements is not egotistical, it’s healthy.

8. Next time you’re at a social event, don’t just stick with the people you know – go and have a conversation with someone you don’t know and you never know what – or who – you’ll discover.
9. Next time you talk yourself out of doing something (an invitation, a challenging project or whatever else), say ‘Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained’ and go do it.
10. Do one thing each day that makes you smile (on the inside or on the outside).
11. Look for the patterns of thought that take you to a place where you start second-guessing or over-thinking. Now imagine that your best friend is in exactly the same thought process and ended up holding herself/himself back – what would you want to say to them?
12.  You have to keep your mind well fed, so write a list of 20 things that keeps your mind feeling nourished and make sure you’re giving them room in your life.
13. Start playing different roles and stop squeezing yourself into boxes based on what you think people expect you to act like.
14. Learn to catch yourself every single time you tell yourself that you can’t have, won’t get or aren’t good enough to get what you want. Watch what you say to yourself, make sure you focus on the positives.
15. Take yourself off auto-pilot – make deliberate decisions on what really matters to you.
16. Next time you come up against a risk or a challenge, listen to what you tell yourself and look for a way that that inner dialog can be improved. Ask yourself, “What would make this easier?”
17. Scared of looking silly?  It’s no biggie so don’t let it stop you. It helps to be able to laugh at yourself sometimes, its healthy. Say it with me – “It just doesn’t matter.”  It’s always Mind over Matter, if you don’t mind it won’t matter!

18. Don’t think for a second that you can’t be confident. There are already loads of things you do with natural self-confidence, you just have to notice them and get familiar with how it feels.

19. Look for the things you do where the question of whether you’re confident enough never arises.

20. Listen to your gut but be ready to make deliberate decisions once you’ve heard them. Sometimes your gut is there to let you know what you need to prepare for, so you can use it to your benefit as you move forward.

21. Think of a time when it felt like a whole bank of switches in your head flicked to the on position and you were firing on all cylinders. What were you doing and what’s the reason it felt so great?

22. You’ve got a whole bunch of out-dated rules that determine what you do, don’t do, should do and shouldn’t do. These rules limit your thinking and limit your behaviour. Tear up your rule book and notice how free you are to make great decisions.

23. Do you get annoyed with yourself because you didn’t make the most of something or stepped back form an opportunity? Don’t beat yourself up because that’s just going to make you feel worse. Instead, be brutally honest and ask yourself what you gained from the situation and what you lost out on. Based on this win/lose balance, what’s a different choice you can make next time?

24. If you’d already done everything in life you’d have no need to be scared. Don’t ever think that being scared means you’re not confident, it simply means you’re going somewhere new.
These are just 24 things to consider (more to come with part 2 & 3) putting into practise.  I guarantee you if you try and put some of these into play, your confidence will grow. I am living proof of a person who wasn’t a picture of confidence growing up but by taking steps like those cited above, my confidence grew, little by little , day by day.

“You are as Confident as You Allow Yourself To Be !” – Leslie Choudhury

Success – Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone

I used to have a comfort zone where I knew I wouldn’t fail.

The same four walls and busywork were really more like jail.

I longed so much to do the things I’d never done before,

But stayed inside my comfort zone and paced the same old floor.

I said it didn’t matter that I wasn’t doing much.

I said I didn’t care for things like commission checks and such.

I claimed to be so busy with the things inside the zone,

But deep inside I longed for something special of my own.

I couldn’t let my life go by just watching others win.

I held my breath; I stepped outside and let the change begin.

I took a step and with new strength I’d never felt before,

I kissed my comfort zone goodbye and closed and locked the door.

If you’re in a comfort zone, afraid to venture out,

Remember that all winners were at one time filled with doubt.

A step or two and words of praise can make your dreams come true.

Do remember I believe in you

Reach for your future with a smile; success is there just waiting for you!

Self-Confidence Part 2

Ok here we go …continuing from part 1 ….

Confidence is a requirement, the more we try, the better our results, the better of results, the more confident we are …do you see the cycle of events?

25. If there’s someone in your life who puts you down o

r makes you feel small, you owe it to yourself to let them know that you expect something different from them now on. Stand up for yourself. You deserve better.

26. Tease. It’s a harmless way to play around with connecting with people and having fun. Know your parameters and what is ‘ok’ topics or areas to tease on.

27. Reveal a little bit of the real you in all relationships – transparency is appreciated and  is a sign of being yourself. hence growing in confidence.

28. Acknowledge and welcome all of your experiences – the good stuff as well as the bad stuff. It’s all equally valid and hiding things away because you don’t like them is just creating conflict.

29. Always recognise that you’re more than a match for any situation you might find yourself in, no matter how tough the going gets. When the going gets tought, the tough get going!

30. Don’t get swept up in the drama of what’s happening right now, look for more useful ways of engaging with what happens in your life. It’s not what happens but how we respond that really matters.

31. Don’t automatically give in to the instant pay-offs – it often means you’re selling yourself short. Good things come to those that wait and good things are always worth waiting for!

32. When you feel like stamping your foot and yelling “I deserve better than this!”, take a step back and say “I can BE better than this.” Take responsibility.

33. Confidence sometimes means admitting you’re wrong – always be ready to hold your hands up and change your mind, your direction, your reaction and eventually your results.

34. Trust your instincts. They know what they’re talking about.

35. Fear is a way of letting you know that you’re about to stretch yourself and grow your confidence. That’s a good thing, so use it to take yourself forwards rather than run away.

36. Imagine you’re visited by a successful, confident, attractive and vibrant version of you from the future, a version of you who’s everything you hope to be. What do they want to tell you?

37. Don’t feel like you have to do everything yourself – sometimes the most confident thing to do is ask for help.

38. Take a chance on something tomorrow. Anything, big or small, just take a chance.

39. You need to be around people who make you feel like YOU, so spend more time with the people who support and encourage you and less with those who undermine you.

40. Stop struggling against the things you don’t like in your life – create a congruent environment around you that flows and allows you to be you.


What are the top 3 things that someone should know in order to be successful in overcoming low self esteem?

Low self esteem can have devastating consequences.
It can create anxiety, stress, loneliness and increased likelihood for depression. It can cause problems with friendships and relationships. You could meet someone special and never realize it because you were too afraid to get to know them. It can seriously impair academic and job performance. It can lead to underachievement and increased vulnerability to drug and alcohol abuse.
Worst of all, these negative consequences reinforce the negative self image and can take a person into a downward spiral of lower and lower self esteem and increasingly damaging or even self destructive behaviour.

You may even have a high sense of self esteem in some areas of your life, whilst there may be other areas where your self esteem is lacking and you feel completely inadequate.

Some people may be very successful in their career, but love and relationships is an area where they feel incompetent or even hopelessly inadequate. Many people have low self esteem in their intimate lives, even if professionally or with friends they seem to be functioning perfectly. They have found a ‘niche’ at work where they feel safe and comfortable, but in the unknown area of relationships, they struggle to get to know other people intimately.

How many times has a promotion passed you by because you couldn’t stomach going to an interview for a job that could have been yours for the taking?

How many times have you wondered if you really have anything to offer?

The three things that you need to know as you begin this transformational process are:
1. That you’re in control of yourself and if you think you’re not, you just have not taken control yet.
2. That you need to understand that your thoughts create and deliver your actions.
3. That your low self esteem is a result of YOUR thinking.

I grew up not having a very good self-esteem about myself. I allowed comments made in passing, hurtful words said in anger to settle in. This is easily done but not healthy.

Thankfully I also had some people whom believed in me and these helped combat the negativity I allowed in. Just as negative statements can have a negative impact on our self-esteem, likewise positive statements can help impact our self-esteem too.

 I can remember my running coach in school say, ‘I was special’ ,  lady doctor whom was in a play hear me in that play do the background voice of God, come up to me at the end and say, ” You have a voice blessed by God, use it mightily”, an American gentleman in a meeting I spoke at come up and say to me, ” If you ever decide to write a book, I will publish it for you!” 

These passing statements took root, they helped my self-esteem, they helped lift me up, built my confidence and became ammunition I continually drew upon to help me when I was down.
Make a list today, of all the positive things people have said to you … I mean it.

Review it, and realize you are special and have unlimited potential.

Have an Awesome day !!!